Bow before me...For I am Root.

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Definitions:

Root
/n./ An essential part or element; the basic core.
a.k.a. SysAdmin (or among peers as BOFH).

Sys Admin /n./ Acronym, System Administrator.
One who manages and maintains computer systems and software.

BOFH  /n./ Acronym, Bastard Operator From Hell. 
A System Administrator with absolutely no tolerance for lusers. 

RTFM  imp. Abbreviation for 'Read The Fucking Manual'. Used by gurus to brush off questions they consider trivial or annoying.


If your VCR is still flashing 12:00 in the clock display - you're what is known in the IT industry as an '(l)user' [pronounced "El user".  It would take far too long for you to comprehend how this word came about into being general terminology used to describe you.  Instead we've decided to spell out a few things for (l)users in a vain attempt to educate you.  On this site you'll find many tips on how to make life easier for your System Administrator (the person who has to fix your screw ups) - which will ultimately make life easier for you.

Is water wet?

- more often than not.

Sys Admin's (and BO'sFH) may also enjoy reading through this site - laughing at the documentation making a mockery of (l)users and relating to the true life diary of a helpdesk operator.  Further documentation is also provided by other Sys Admin's on a number of useful topics to get you through life in general in a world full of (l)users.

Root, Sys Admin and BOFH may also respond when called by another common title:

God
/n./ 
- A being conceived as the perfect, omnipotent, omniscient originator and ruler of the universe. 
- The force, effect, or a manifestation or aspect of this being.
- A being of supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people, especially a male deity thought to control some part of nature or reality. 
- One that is worshiped, idealised, or followed.
- A very handsome man. 
- A powerful ruler or despot.
 

 


Casual Users, take notice of the (L)Userguide section of the website.  It includes countless tips to abide by for keeping your Sys Admin happy when you have to disturb him/her and use up his or her valuable time.

Fellow Administrators, should you want to add some stories to the site or make comments on what else is needed, look up the details under the 'Contact' section.  (L)Users who accidentally email me with irrelevant crap, do not feel disheartened if you do not receive a reply.  The delete key and the reply key are very close together and my vision becomes very hazy (almost symptoms of an allergy) whenever I have to deal with emails that smell of (L)User. 

Quote:

I will find humour in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

Original logo design submitted by Intel Technicians before the Marketing department edited it.  Allegedly.

-The full size image not often shown on users home machines.


Note to Sys Admins - let us not argue over which Network is superior Unix, Netware, Linux, NT, etc.  It's like the World Cup - we all support our own domestic teams during the season, but when we have a higher purpose, we can temporarily forget our differences and learn to agree.  Regardless of the OS administered, we all have to deal with (l)users and the headache is no less painful for Sys Admins of other OS's.


By the time (l)users have worked their way around the entirety of this site, they should all have a greater understanding of what it means to be a Sys Admin.  They may even realise that their Sys Admin would be better described as a Bastard Operator From Hell.  

Regardless of what they learn (or don't learn), they will be aware of the similarities between God and the person whom administers their network and learn to treat them both with equal respect.

Stuff for smart masses
 -True.

Sys Admin's who want to rub in their superiority can purchase many pre-prepared accessories from the nice crew at: www.thinkgeek.com

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